User Guide for Microsoft's New TV Dinners:

You must first break the seal and remove the plastic cover.  By doing so
you agree to accept and observe Microsoft's rights to all TV dinners.
You may let others smell and look at your dinner and you are encouraged
to tell them how good it is. However, you may not allow anyone else to
eat your dinner which would constitute an infringement of Microsoft's
rights.


If you have a PC microwave oven, insert the dinner into the oven. Setup
the oven using these keystrokes:


     <\mstv.dinn.//08.5min50%heat//


Then enter:


     <ms//start.cook_dindin/yummy\|/yum~yum:-)gohot#cookme.


If you have a MacIntosh oven, insert the dinner and simply press start.
The oven will automatically recognize the Microsoft TV Dinner, configure
itself, and cook your dinner perfectly.


If you have an IBM OS2 Oven, it is incompatible with your Microsoft TV
Dinner.  This is a minor problem since hardly anyone uses IBM Ovens
anyway, but if you want to cook your Microsoft TV Dinner you will need
to  purchase a Microsoft Oven and start over.


If you have a Unix oven, insert the dinner, enter the chemical formula
and amount in ounces for each of the ingredients in the dinner (found on
the package label), the volume of the dinner in cubic inches, the
desired cooking temperature and time, and then press start.  The oven
will automatically verify your calculatiions, and cook the dinner
precisely.


If your Microsoft Dinner suddenly freezes (this is most likely to occur
with Microsoft ovens), your oven must be restarted.  This is a simple
procedure.  Remove the dinner from the oven, turn the oven off, then
turn it on again, reinsert your dinner, and renter your cooking
instructions.  This process may have to be repeated several times.


If the oven continues to freeze your dinner, try unplugging it and
starting over. If this doesn't resolve the problem, remove the door to
the oven, take out all internal hardware, re-install it, replace the
door and start over again.  If this does not resolve the problem contact
your hardware vendor.


Many users have reported that the Microsoft TV Dinner Tray is too big,
much larger than the dinner itself, and contains numerous useless
compartments, most of which are empty. These are for future menu items.
If the Microsoft tray is too large to fit in your oven you will need to
upgrade your equipment.


Microsoft Dinners are only sold by registered dealers, and chicken is
the only variety currently available.  If you want another variety, call
Microsoft Technical Support and listen to soothing music for
approximately one hour, after which a technician will explain why you
really don't want another variety because Microsoft Chicken is all you
really need.


Microsoft has announced plans to discontinue all smaller versions of
their dinners.  Future releases will only be in the larger family size.
Left over chicken may be saved for future use, but must be stored in
Microsoft approved packaging.


Microsoft plans to provide a dessert with every TV Dinner '98. However,
a release date for the next version has not yet been established. To
help users evaluate this version, pictures of the dessert will be
available from Microsoft's Home Page this fall.


Microsoft dinners may be incompatible with other dinners in your
freezer, which in some circumstances could cause your freezer to
self-defrost. This is a feature, not a bug, as your freezer probably
should have been defrosted anyway.